No no, you're fine m8. It was so long ago, I don't really have much pains about it anymore. I've been really fortunate to have my faith in doctors/Psychs/etc be rejuvenated because of the team I have helping me now. Most people are SHIT, but the few gems really push my suicide further away.
>One thing that has worked for me in the past is to just listen to their complaints and opinions, as if you were their confidant
Yeah, that's usually enough to keep you floating, especially if you can empathize and contribute on what they're sharing. Some jobs, you really can't just keep to yourself or show any signs of neuroticism.
I've found when it comes to ruined first-impressions, only the most open-minded, kindhearted, and amiable people will give you a second chance. I showed a lot of "weakness" in this one blue-collar job and I was basically ran out because I knew my coworkers weren't going to "waste" their time helping/training me. It's a shame because I was really passionate about the industry and job.
I was even asked to reconsider from the HR member who hired me and the global safety director engineer, the only people who I felt really saw my potential/who I was, but I was forced to ignore them because there was no way I could of told them, "uh, yeah, I quit because most of my coworkers dislike me and don't want to bother helping me, and my brown-nosed trainer who has enormous amounts of social leverage who was so supportive if me, has now joined them in talking shit behind my back and is reluctant in helping me. Look at me! I'm the workplace pariah already!" So I stuck with:
"emergency health issues"
I can't remember the last time I felt so powerless but maybe it was for the best.