/k/ - Weapons, Combat, Outdoorsmanship


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what's a war board without a conflict?

The Club Penguin Fanon Wiki's military autism Strelok 02/13/2021 (Sat) 03:19:25 No.13172
How the fuck is this /k/? I'll get to that. It's time to get something off my chest and I don't know where else to post this. As a kid, I was part of something called the Club Penguin Fanon Wiki. It started off as a bunch of kids writing about their OCs, as you'd expect, but that quickly grew boring, so the kids began making their own penguin countries? And what happens when that gets boring? What happens when the users don't get along? Simple: your imaginary penguin countries go to war. There are several hundred articles about Club Penguin wars, Club Penguin soldiers, Club Penguin weapons, and so on. Some went into incredibly autistic detail about this stuff, a bunch included photos of real life military equipment or penguins photoshopped with guns. Some people got into retelling real life conflicts with their made-up countries: I particularly remember checking the website several years ago for a laugh and finding some turboautist had retold the Yugoslavian Wars at great length. Yes, there was a penguin Adolf Hitler. Someone made up the High Penguins as a parody of Tolkien's elves, but fucked them up so badly everyone thought they were supposed to be Jews, so they made up a penguin Hitler named Whoot Smackler Whoot (a descendent of Penghis Khan) to genocide them. In-universe he survived WW2 and lived to a ripe old age in a retirement home, where he was beloved by all. This isn't even getting into stuff like deletion nukes, the site's editors existing in-universe as a sort of constantly bickering pantheon, or just how little separation there was between user interactions and the setting itself. The entire thing was batshit and I still can't believe it existed or that I was a part of this. Looking back, the autism put into this stuff was really impressive for something made by a bunch of kids and I figured you guys might get a kick out of it.
Open file (8.39 KB 456x64 conflicts.png)
Open file (526.41 KB 1431x1642 asiapelago war.png)
Open file (554.49 KB 1421x1114 porcyal war.png)
Open file (559.35 KB 1431x1892 penstubal.png)
Guess this could have gone in the Fantasy Weapons, Armor, and Armaments thread, but there's just a shitton of this stuff and I'm barely scratching the surface with these caps.
Open file (303.99 KB 1421x1169 ed island army.png)
Open file (318.56 KB 1420x1270 snowzerland.png)
Open file (293.79 KB 1359x1083 more porcyal war.png)
Open file (418.92 KB 1491x1327 frosian war.png)
Open file (467.56 KB 1494x1274 ultimate disaster story.png)
I've included some caps of some less impressive stuf here too. The older war stories are much less violent but at some point the userbase just stopped giving a shit. It seems there's only so much you can do with cutesy Club Penguin stories until the kids get bored and turn the setting into a batshit wargame RP. Haven't really gotten much into stuff like countries, penguin statesmen, or armaments yet either. From what little I've seen, most of the weapons pages date back to the days when they had to be technically nonlethal. This still allowed countries to own things like chemical weapons, superweapons which indirectly killed everyone through global warming, and the aforementioned deletion missiles which wiped their targets from existence without technically killing them.
>>13172 I'm quite enjoying this shit
Open file (528.41 KB 852x880 ClipboardImage.png)
>>13183 As am I.

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