>everything coming out of Asia this century will reliably last about 120k miles and them turn to tatters
Ye of little faith, my Civic is rapidly approaching 175k. You are probably right in saying that the rust will be the killing blow, though. My front bumper is already being held on by little more than broken dreams, but the frame itself is proving to be solid thus far.
>fear of death
That's been draining out of me for over a decade, so it makes sense. The spectre of death has hung over me so long that I'm used to it (I don't recall if I ever mentioned this, but I have an abnormal 'version' of a fatal genetic mutation. In it's normal form, it kills by age five. The doctors who found it whilst I was in the womb never bothered following up on it because everything seemed normal at the time, and I never bothered following up myself, so it's just kind of there
). The main difference now is that the steady unraveling of my depression is leaving an emotional vacuum that doesn't really want to be filled.
>For what it's worth, I'm vaccinated
I wish I could say that I'm surprised, but I think I've lost the ability. I won't try to tell you what's best for yourself, but my intuition has been telling me from day one to not get it. Also, I won't get into the schizophrenic minutae, but I've had some personal signs that pointed in the same direction, and not all of them can be written off as me just
overanalyzing things. Though I realize the choice to abstain will close a lot of doors for me now, I just can't bring myself to even entertain the thought of getting the vax. It may be a strange hill to choose to die on, but this is just one of those issues where I won't ever forgive myself if I don't stick to my guns.
>I just like foxes
I can relate. For me, cats and foxes (and for a large portion of my childhood with no context, snakes), have always been my favorites from the beginning. In the context of waifus, the same largely holds true now, though my tastes have expanded greatly from this foundation.
I'll have to disagree on that. I think that shorter hair can look quite good on a girl if done right (which is ironic when you consider that I have hair that wouldn't look out of place in the 70s... or the 1800s. Funnily enough, I recall a very old photograph of a guy in my family who probably died nearly a century ago who looked nearly identical to me, hair included. Maybe one day I'll get myself a nice suit and tie (I'd have to find the picture again, but I think it was a stock tie) to match and have a photo taken of myself in the same fashion).
I can greatly relate. If my views on true love are a foundation, exclusivity is the bedrock it sits upon. Regarding the specific scenarios you imagine, I do deviate, but not much. I also often imagine scenarios of a similar vein, but the roles switch around according to my whims in the moment. However, one is always the lesser, who is raised up by the greater. Generally, there is a heavy overtone of emotional healing, for obvious reasons.
Frankly, the state of computer technology has left a sour taste for me. I've been regressing more to the basics, and have hardly been engaing in the sort of projects I enjoyed five years ago. Now I only use computers for things I'll either actually
enjoy (mostly music and reading stories/manga online), or for productivity and profit. Even the server I'm setting up only exists for one reason, and that's to make money. Once I have everything set up the way I want it, it'll just sit there and act as a crypto node/miner until it burns out.
I refuse to touch AI unless it's at the very least offline-capable (i.e. I can just have it run on one of my computers). If you think there's a decent option, then I might try it out on my desktop, once I've solved the cooling issue and intermittent crashing problems. I already went to the trouble of fishing some higher-capacity RAM from recycling, so I might as well put it to work.