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/f/ Never Dies


Game dev/TiTS Bitching Thread Three: Electric Boogalee lance##m3y78z 04/29/2020 (Wed) 01:20:05 No.4
Hi, welcome to The New New Thread. Same as The Old and Old Old Threads! This is a thread allegedly for discussing TiTS and other games, I guess. And developing games. And stuff. Despite this being a TiTS thread in name (for historical purposes), barely anyone here plays TiTS. For further information on the game, I recommend you go here to ask. https://forum.fenoxo.com/forums/trials-in-tainted-space.8/ For reasons of how long this thread's existed and how much fen's fucked up everything he's touched, there's a good chance the thread will have barely anything to do with fenoxo and his hugbox at any given point. Information >FAQ https://dragontamer8740.gitlab.io/faq/ >Mobile Builds https://dragontamer8740.gitlab.io/faq/links.html >Minerva Read the readme if you want to use it to edit your save data. Especially read the readme if you use Chrome. https://mega.nz/#!30gTyCCK!GFy7E3yrlkpUbA9yFMZpSinlT1BiO6Xn1Ykpc50b-Cw If you would like my custom mobile CoC, or other builds, just ask and I might oblige. >Downloads We don't really have the latest builds first anymore. That said, I make mobile builds and desktop builds from source code when I can (and/or feel like it), and redistribute the premade builds when I can access them. I mirror them here. I am also, to my knowledge, the only person making iOS builds for TiTS nowadays. https://dragontamer8740.gitlab.io/faq/links.html
>>1929 >>1930 I'm nobody passing by, but I'm sorry to hear you went through that as child. No eleven year old would have been able to solve what you were confronted with, so all in all I think you handled it well, even if it doesn't seem that way. This isn't to say that there's a "successful" way of handling that, only that you did and that you're here now, which sure counts for something. When part of your brain is broken or misbehaving, all kinds of mischief gets between you and your experiences. Your thoughts grow to fit the environment they find themselves in, like stunted trees trying to grow in a building's permanent shade. We are, alas, affected by the mechanisms of our flesh far more fundamentally than many of us would like. Think of your frontal lobe as an executive whose subordinates are telling him all kinds of different things, who can only issue orders indirectly, and who has to make sense of it all for the company owner (your soul) moment-to-moment and you'll begin to understand why it's not just a matter of "fixing" yourself by pure will alone. That said, the drive to learn about, bear up under, and try to rid yourself of these things shows that you're stronger than most, which is an unbelievable asset even if it seems like it only prolongs suffering. >I have no trust in the psychiatric industry, and I refuse to touch any substance other than nicotine and alcohol (the latter only at night). Sure, there's the chance that something like that might help, but it's not a risk I want to take. I once sought help for some of my own difficulties from someone who presented themselves as a professional. They diagnosed me within ten minutes and then gatekept access I had to medication, forcing a regular consultation fee for no proper service whatsoever. It turned out that they had a growing reputation as a charlatan, had had their licenses revoked long ago, and were acting to funnel me to prescription-mills (probably in return for additional kickbacks). This is not to say that doctors don't help, merely that there are lazies and charlatans out there and one must find someone who is both willing and able to correctly understand your trouble and give you what you need. I recognize what you say about learning about psychology, how it disillusions you and drives you to despair when it doesn't seem to give you the tools you think you need. For me, this was because my underlying brain-chemical issues hadn't been addressed and the knowledge became more valuable once I could use it. I now look upon my storehouse of knowledge in the field as a hard-won trove that I myself have battle-tested. Anyway, the medication I had thrust at me did very little, but it did force me to try and figure out what the fuck was going on. What eventually helped me get out of the pit on top of all the other research was three things: >A supplement stack that hinged on NAC (2000mg split dose), magnesium (400mg night), selenium (200mcg morning), and zinc (50mg night). I later added creatine and glyceine, which have helped a lot with "brain fog" too, but those were specific to my particular side-problems. It sounds kooky but it worked for me. >A book called "Addicted to Unhappiness" by Martha H. Pieper and William J. Pieper that helped me realise how my mind had adapted to my experiences, how that was necessary at the time, and what I could expect as I tried to re-shape it. >The realization that what I was experiencing was not a lack of effort or control, but a fundamental fault in my brain chemistry that I could work around but would never be "cured" of. It wasn't my fault, but I also wasn't going to ever be rid of it, so I needed to stop feeling bad about it, find ways to render it irrelevant, and deal with the effects it had had on my mind. It's hard to explain, but the supplements seemed to give my brain the right fuel so that I could gradually build loops (that often fell apart when I backslid) and deal with things bit by bit. It's like part of me had gradually fallen out of contact and I was slowly bringing it back into the... I don't know, the community of me. Like I'd been hypoxic for a long time and someone was gradually letting the oxygen back in. (Side note: Look up hypoxia training for pilots, what it does to you without you knowing it is wild. Great metaphor.) I became able to concentrate on things again, remember things again, deal with others from a place of power. One of the nastiest parts of brain problems is that they impose doubt on you: "Is what I'm experiencing real?" With my brain working better, I became able to understand the cruelties that some people reflexively impose on others, to tell mere wounded or lazy from genuinely evil (and mark my words, there is evil in the world), and to make decisions accordingly. Anyway. What you are experiencing does have an end. It's not an easy or convenient end, but it can be reached, and it is worth it. It doesn't stop the world being a vale of tears, but it does give you back the parts of you that you need to live through it.
>>1929 Pretty morose story Flash, true. OTOH, you're still here with us. A wonderful boss I had used to regularly say, "Where's there's breath, there's hope." Don't quit now bro. I'd suggest you simply short-circuited during that period to a revelation that eventually everyone faces (perhaps only once at death's door). Namely, you, yourself, are an individual, alone. Only God alone, can know your sorrows and your trials, your joys and your accomplishments. No other human can actually share any of that intimately with you. A marriage between a man and woman is just about the closest any of us can hope to get in that regard, but it's plainly evident that doesn't work either. Only God and God alone, can meet you in that place and bring you out 'into the light' so to speak. No other human can, bro. >Actually, I just want to pass that on to all of you: don't learn any more about human psychology than you absolutely have to, because every new word will break down your faith in others and yourself Meh, it's just contrivances by blind men in the dark. No one really understands the human soul, it's simply vastly too complex. Stop letting them dictate to you Flash. I've been praying for you mate.
>>1929 >How genuine are they when they talk about it? If someone tells you that they once suffered crippling depression but are now snug as a bug, they're either lying or grossly self unaware. Depression is a symptom of an underlying mental state, and you have no control over the experiences, emotions, and memories that led to it. What you do have control over is your acceptance of them, and the extent that you let them impact your daily life. The fundamentals that caused your depression will always be a scar on your psychology, and you will have occasional setbacks, but you can still live a fulfilling life that brings you happiness. Imagine a kid being harshly rejected in middle school and resolving to never love again. He didn't deserve that trauma, and it will follow him for life. But he's making the worst of a bad situation, and will needlessly suffer lifelong consequences because of his response to it. >How high are they? Psychiatry is misunderstood. I used to be a hypochondriac, and I got fed up sitting around waiting for doctor appointments, so I began studying internal medicine and pharmacology extensively. That's been a big thing of mine for a very long time, and I can speak about it without any armchair conjecturing. First off, there is no medication that does not have drawbacks. Tylenol is one of the leading causes of liver failure. Advil will absolutely fuck up your stomach. Flonase does wonders for seasonal allergies, but can cause loss of smell, which some claim has been irreversible for them. Psych meds are no different, and doctors are supposed to base their prescribing habits on whether the benefits outweigh the risks. For a manic depressive, the inconvenience of psych meds is perfectly tolerable if the alternative involves them hurting themselves or others during an episode. Someone with social anxiety however should not have to suffer the crippling addiction and potential for dementia of benzodiazepines, where the alternative is something that can be resolved behaviorally. Part of the problem is that most patients don't want to put in any effort towards resolving problems, and doctors know this. They're looking for a quick fix which doctors have become accustomed to providing. It's not necessarily maliciousness, just largely short sightedness. The financial incentives local doctors are presumed to receive for prescribing things is hugely overestimated. These payments are, by law, entirely public. You can see online which pharmaceutical companies have given money to your doctor, and you'll find that 90% of it is a free lunch for attending a seminar on their products, not tens of thousands of dollars in bonuses. Secondly, mental illnesses are almost never 'fixed', and no good psychiatrist will speak in terms of curing someone. The foundation of psychiatry is management. Someone who is too depressed to get out of bed in the morning is never going to take actionable steps to put his life back on track. A schizophrenic that's prone to hopping in his car and ending up thousands of miles from home has no control over his life. Psych meds bring people to a baseline mental state where they can address their situation accurately and begin moving forward. If you are capable of caring for yourself and have the energy to at least attempt taking little steps towards managing this, then I don't think you would benefit from an SSRI or similar. They are a short term crutch to help people get back on their feet, and that's it. >I know enough that the earlier something starts, the harder it is to move past it. I disagree, but can only speak from personal experience on this. As a kid, I was an incredibly shy loner with trust issues that read all day, and masked insecurity and a fear of being emotionally hurt behind a very harsh outward personality. As a fourteen year old, a teacher had nicknamed me 'Mr. Sunshine' and I was known as the kid who sent an eight year old to the hospital with a fractured skull. Yet today I have the physique of a typical 'gym bro', spend most of my free time trying to improve the lives of the people around me and the community we share, and go on dates far more often than I'd prefer to just to help with their self confidence. But I'm sharing this because this total turnaround did not occur after anything grand, and there wasn't a huge struggle to get here. At some point in my early twenties, I acknowledged that my discontent with life was largely based on the way I carried about, and that I was going to have to put in some effort if I didn't want to spend the next 65 years being miserable. I set about making small incremental changes to my lifestyle every week, and increasingly put myself into situations that made me uncomfortable.
>>1929 >How the fuck do I do it? How do I be content? It's a long journey, and it starts with a pen and paper. Sit down and outline every aspect of your life. Your diet, your exercise, your living situation, your relationships, your occupation, your hobbies, how you spend your time, your sleep schedule, etc. For each one, decide what your habits should look like if they are to be healthy (by the standards of society before it began fetishizing weakness). If you weren't depressed, I'd have said to decide what your habits would look like if you were happy. But depressed people aren't of a sound mind, and you'd probably tell me you'd be happy to wake up at 1800 each day and be left alone. So we'll start with healthy habits instead. Once you have an idea of what you should be doing, don't drop everything next Monday to live a totally different lifestyle, but start making incremental changes in your life. Wake up a little earlier each week, eat a bit healthier, spend less time on bad habits and more time on good habits. Set and accomplish little goals every day, even if it's just 'shower every day' or 'wake up before noon.' The accomplishment of goals is a necessary component of confidence, and keeps you focused on how far you've come, and not how far you still have to go. These are the kind of changes that depressed people need to make to begin their recovery; they can not and will not address the emotional component of their suffering so long as their physical state is neglected. Your most important change will be in building healthy and supportive relationships with people that you can be emotionally open with. There are ten billion people on this planet, and you only need about a dozen of them; they're out there. Keep in mind the kind of people that you'll meet in certain places; you'll meet a very different kind of person while volunteering at an animal shelter than you would at a liberal college. If you're constantly surrounded by people you despise, put yourself in different positions. One of the most powerful tools in relationship building is being able to recognize how and why other people suffer. From a hug to encouraging words, being acutely aware of others' fears and insecurities gives you a lot of power over how they see you. If you're a psychopath, you'll use this for sex and material gain with broken people. But ideally you are not me. I didn't pull all of this out of a self help book or some Huffpost article. While everyone's depression is caused by a unique set of circumstances, depression itself is universal. Gather a dozen depressed people in a room and they'll pretty much have the same feelings towards life and happiness. This is the process that has worked for me, and I have helped others with it as well. It is not a unique thing either; ask anyone who's recovered from depression how they did it, and they'll tell you it was a combination of developing a healthy lifestyle and meaningful relationships. I am not so full of myself that I would have spent two hours articulating this if I did not think it would help you as well. Happiness is love, purpose, and fulfillment. Compassion, kindness, and servitude will definitely push you in that direction. Be selfless (within reason, take care of yourself) and be emotionally open. Open your heart and connect with others. Nurture your relationships. Help others. Anonymous good deeds feel wonderful. You know that feeling when you’re in love? Love is happiness. Love others. Receive love. That’s it.
I'm having that dreading/anxious feeling because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fail a class or two this semester, but I think I'll survive somehow. We'll see what happens next. I doubt the school is going to be merciful like it was the first COVID semester. I guess if they decide to dismiss me, that means time off school before I'm allowed to re-apply again, though, and that might be just what I need. On a lighter note, even leddit knows Mozilla's trash https://old.reddit.com/r/firefox/comments/mwjh45/where_is_the_no_option/
>>1930 Stay with us, you're a cool person. I'm in a slump right now, too, but it'll work out somehow. Hard to believe sometimes, but try to have faith in that. I've been through some dark/rough patches and there's always a better place around a corner (IMO).
>>1924 >The porn industry in its many forms is absolutely devastating to young women, but what can you do? I do my part by just looking at eastern cartoon girls instead; it causes much less of a human trafficking problem that way, too. My expectations from real women obviously differ when half the stuff in the cartoons is physically impossible (fox ears for instance).
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I had a GIF meme about california, but I can't find it now, so have this instead.
A library in the town over had a copy of Value Line. From April 2020, but since this is still April, I don't know if this year's edition is even in the mail yet. But aside from the twelve month outlook, the rest of the figures are still perfectly accurate, particularly the 3-5 year section. I took pictures of it all (excluding the multi-thousand page reference on each individual stock), so here you go. There's at least one other anon here making money the easy way, so enjoy. I even included the page on my beloved range-bound stock, AT&T. This binder is $600 a year; don't say I never gave you guys anything. https://imgur.com/a/4lJqNHf
>>1914 >>1920 Oh, shit. Sorry to hear that… I have a Vietnamese friend IRL who told me the girl he loved in Vietnam killed herself around a week ago. I listened to him talk about it, and of course tried to tell him not to blame himself, but it's not really something where there's much I can say. She was apparently the naïve sort, and he'd kind of assumed a protective role with her when he was still in Vietnam. He wonders if she was being manipulated or abused, too (basically, if there's something he could have done, had he been there). He felt weird about opening up like that, and said it "wasn't like him," so I basically told him that whatever he does is what defines who he is, and he shouldn't try too hard to disguise himself. I myself think I might be a bit depressed, for a variety of reasons, but so far am good enough at "living in the present" that it never really goes beyond a vague feeling of bracing myself and then moving on after the impact. Sure, it sucks at the time, but remembering that my troubles are all temporary (relatively speaking) helps me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kx-bCPUItwI
>>1940 Thanks for sharing. AT&T is a pretty solid choice; pretty much always was.
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Found the california GIF Thought of you when I saw it, commie
>>1943 1. "This is a perfectly fine state." 2. "Wow, some people are MEAN, this calls for assloads of money attempting to alter human nature." 3. "The state has no money and is crumbling, and my taxes are too high. Time to move to that other perfectly fine state." 4. "Wow, some people are MEAN, this calls for assloads of money attempting to alter human nature." Progressivism is just malignant stupidity. The people in this state would happily drag down the living conditions of entire populations if it meant they could make an insignificant impact on the mental state of their pet identity groups. The left is crippled by a mentality centered around "We have to do Something for Them. This is Something, so we have to do This. And if you don't agree with This, you must hate Them."
>>1941 >She was apparently the naïve sort Most women are, lad. The ones who aren't are usually forty year old executives that wish they had gotten married instead. It's no coincidence that the entire advertising industry has spent the last four decades or so gravitating towards women (MLM and all). >if there's something he could have done It's somewhat comforting that in the face a friend's suicide, we all seem to have the same worries. Well, if he ever wants to talk to someone going through the same thing, I can always drop an email address here. I'm very sorry for his loss. There's not much you can say to help him, just be there for him if you can. A hug if that's not weird for you.
>>1942 AT&T is a terrible holding stock (unless you're retiring soon and just want safe dividends). But as a range-bound stock, you can buy and sell it at very predictable points and make money off them regularly without worrying about the stock tanking on you. If you want to make money on the market, put most of your allocation in Spiders and Diamonds. Keep some money in cash and buy dips through their leveraged ETFs for multiplied rebounds (if Diamonds dips and rebounds 2%, DDM rebounds 2x for 4%. Some are even 3x). Periodically sell half of your positions when things are up, giving you more money to buy dips and keeping risk low. Use a portion of your profit as fun money to invest in individual stocks. That's it, you're making good money forever now. Please pay my advisory fee.
>>1946 >Please pay my advisory fee. Lol. I'm no expert Gunship, but it seems to me you could have a rather brisk secondary gig doing just that: getting people to pay you for investment advice.
>>1947 I manage most of my family's and a good number of friends' personal finances and investments. It is definitely good money (largely because my commission is absurd, but no one cares because they're making free money with someone they trust to do things in their interests). I don't usually charge for advice though. If you want an individual value stock to buy, look at AM[0]. It tanked terribly last year, but is under new management now and has been growing steadily to the tune of 89% over the last year. During that ascent, it has also been a fantastic range-bound stock, frequently bouncing between highs and lows as the long term uptrend continues (and with a dividend yield of 15% for much of it). Earnings will be out in five days. Either they do well and the stock will get a nice bump to its trend. Or it will dip a bit and continue to bounce around as a range-bound stock. Either way, it's been a lovely stock for the last year. If there's one thing the right is good at, it's noticing patterns and drawing conclusions from them, even if the conclusions sometimes go off the rails. If your ability to extrapolate is decent, finance is for you. Spend a little less time connecting the rise in transvestism to the collapse of Western civilization, and more time predicting equity prices. Then you can take your millions to Thailand and not give a shit. [0] https://www.tradingview.com/symbols/NYSE-AM/
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>>1945 >A hug if that's not weird for you. Maybe a little, but I'd not feel to awkward about just offering one.
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P.S. I built FF 88 from sources today (since cubeb, the mozilla audio backend, is built with pulseaudio support only by default since FF 52, I had to build it myself to get plain ALSA). The build took just over an hour and a half (97 minutes) on a four core i5-3470 CPU with 16GiB RAM. For comparison, FF 52 took around 45 minutes on a somewhat slower i5 machine from the same generation. Took the opportunity to revert a patch that they made which changes the 'view image' context menu option to 'open image in new tab' (which opens in the foreground, ignoring the `browser.tabs.loadInBackground` setting). Literally no benefit to them doing this, btw, since ctrl+clicking or middle-clicking on the old 'view image' context menu option would open it in a new tab in exactly the same way. All they did was make it impossible to view the image in the current tab without copying the image location and pasting it in the url bar. I also discovered they'd removed the legacy XUL/"XHTML" `about:config` UI sometime between 85 and 88, so I patched that back in, too. Between that and my ever-growing userChrome.css file, it's been getting harder and harder to make Firefox acceptable, and I know I've whined about this a ton before, but I'm just blogging I guess. BTW, next version (89) is revamping the UI once again (codename "proton"), and 90 removes the old UI stuff, so I'm just bracing myself for when they throw that wrench & reduce the usability while also taking up more vertical space once again. I use seamonkey 98% of the time; FF gets used on really horrible/incompatible/heavy-weight sites when I can't reasonably avoid them. Have a weird little song I stumbled across. Not sure how I feel about it (repeatative), but it's sort of catchy at least. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvmX053bQZ0
>>1950 Oh yeah, and according to the tracker it looks like 85+ have a bug that stops them building with GCC 10. And they never fixed it. So I had to use Clang for this build.
>>1951 d'oh, tripcode
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Oh yeah, they mdae the find bar huge again so now I have to find out how to shrink it down (again) Also, pic.
>>1950 >>1951 I feel your pain. There isn't a browser worth using anymore. I have so many patches just keeping firefox inline in addition to my userchrome.css and autism config. I keep thinking about trying the FurryFox browser again but it doesn't work with a bunch of websites I need to use. Even the latest version of Firefox is totally broken on a lot of websites now. Google pushes out updates to break sites like youtube everyday. Firefox can't even see the replies to comments anymore. Not sure what they've broken to make that possible but it doesn't work even with a stock compile at the moment. Every new version adds more compile time. I'm currently forced to compile multiple browser engines a week to keep my Gentoo/KDE machine up to date. For whatever reason there is an update for Rust coming out every few days now. I think I compiled it three times last week. It just keeps getting more and more bloated. The only reason I'm forced to use it at all is Firefox. Rust keeps being forced upon me. I can't remember what recently got re-written in it but it's part of the base system on Gentoo. I have it masked and use an older version but I know that won't be doable for much longer. I keep flirting with the idea of forking >Linux kernel >gtk v2 >Firefox >some other things recently re-written in Rust But I'm only one man and I know I don't have the will power to maintain it all. I really want to release a new distro that's focused on being a sane desktop system though. Something that would replicate late 90s/early 2000s KDE/Gnome while still being able to run modern software and games. A base system with a small footprint. Precompiled binaries by default with the option to fall back to source. Something that can run on everything from 486s to modern CPUs. bins for all those archs like Funtoo.
>>1950 >>1951 I feel your pain. There isn't a browser worth using anymore. I have so many patches just keeping firefox inline in addition to my userchrome.css and autism config. I keep thinking about trying the FurryFox browser again but it doesn't work with a bunch of websites I need to use. Even the latest version of Firefox is totally broken on a lot of websites now. Google pushes out updates to break sites like youtube everyday. Firefox can't even see the replies to comments anymore. Not sure what they've broken to make that possible but it doesn't work even with a stock compile at the moment. Every new version adds more compile time. I'm currently forced to compile multiple browser engines a week to keep my Gentoo/KDE machine up to date. For whatever reason there is an update for Rust coming out every few days now. I think I compiled it three times last week. It just keeps getting more and more bloated. The only reason I'm forced to use it at all is Firefox. Rust keeps being forced upon me. I can't remember what recently got re-written in it but it's part of the base system on Gentoo. I have it masked and use an older version but I know that won't be doable for much longer. I keep flirting with the idea of forking >Linux kernel >gtk v2 >Firefox >some other things recently re-written in Rust But I'm only one man and I know I don't have the will power to maintain it all. I really want to release a new distro that's focused on being a sane desktop system though. Something that would replicate late 90s/early 2000s KDE/Gnome while still being able to run modern software and games. A base system with a small footprint. Precompiled binaries by default with the option to fall back to source. Something that can run on everything from 486s to modern CPUs. bins for all those archs like Funtoo.>>1951
>>1954 >>1955 wtf is even going on with the shitty lynxchan software powering this imageboard? It gave me 3 seconds to fill in captcha. Told me I failed. I refresh the page and somehow the post went through twice but managed to eat the image for one of the posts somehow. Stephen Lynx is truly a nigger.
>>1929 >I can barely remember how or even why I eventually convinced myself not to go through with it. I think I still had, and probably still have, this little bit of hope that I can somehow have a happy ending. First off: You aren't alone and we're probably of the last generation that really knows what this is like. None of these kids know what loneliness is like anymore with the modern ability to find a community of like minded people online. They can't even fathom what it was like back in those days when you could truly be alone and disconnected. I went though that as well. Like you the teachers couldn't "fix me" and the parents were nowhere to be found. As sad as this is going to sound the only thing that kept me here was the thought of hell. I didn't even believe in religion back then. Hadn't read any of the books and considered them to be for the weak minded. But suicide just wasn't an option. The thought that I would come back in a worse situation or be forced to spend eternity in some bad place was a gamble I wasn't willing to take. I'm here suffering for a reason. I probably signed up for it. I don't know what this place is but I do know we're all here suffering together for a greater purpose. Maybe we're just here to build character. Maybe we're being punished for something we did. Maybe it's just the most popular reality TV show in the universe. Whatever the reason we're all here together because we all came here willingly. What keeps me going is the thought that if I let nature take its course and do the best I can here that I'll eventually be returned to wherever I came from. I think we all end up going to Gensokyo once we're finished growing here as souls. Maybe it isn't exactly the world ZUN created but something similar to it. A carefree place where everyone is in their true form. Be is that of a little girl, a furry, a masculine God-like being, or whatever else you envision yourself as. Perhaps we're all just youkai that got bored and decided to incarnate as humans for awhile. I think that's why so many people on Earth don't feel comfortable in their mortal bodies. Trannys might really be in the wrong bodies. But they're in them by choice and gave up halfway through the experiment. Instead of sticking it out and learning they give up halfway through and become an abomination that will never be able to escape the cycle of reincarnation if they keep repeating the mistake. I like to imagine that after I die I'll go to some place where there isn't evil. Or where evil isn't in control at least. Maybe the most meek among us here on Earth are actually the strongest beings on the other side. Maybe they asked to be placed into a meek mortal shell so they can better understand those they protect. At any rate suicide never seemed like a viable answer to any of my problems. No matter how bad things get I couldn't die by my own hand. Whenever I've tried to beat this on a technicality something happens to spoil my plans. For a long time I was attempting to die by riding motorcycles at high speed on public roads. I just ended up becoming a better rider. Every time I got close to being in a fatal crash I would manage to keep the bike under control. I can't kill myself no matter how much I try. The one time I tried to blow my head off with a gun it misfired. I pointed it in another direction and pulled the trigger. Gun went off and has never misfired again. We go through struggles because it makes us better people in the long run.
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>>1950 The virgin FOSS compiler vs the chad I-don't-give-a-shit-anymore. Actual screenshot of my desktop from this morning, how things have changed! When I have finished my coffee, there will be no issues to troubleshoot, no reason to spend hours tinkering away at trivial things while isolated in this chair. It's a beautiful Spring day out! >>1957 >None of these kids know what loneliness is like anymore It's the exact opposite, kids are lonelier than ever. They have people to talk to, but their relationships are entirely impersonal, void of any meaning. They don't know what it's like to have a shoulder to cry on, to hold hands with someone. Their relationships are shallow and saturated in constant irony and in-group signaling. Dating (when it occurs) has become less the meeting and connecting of two people, and more the marketing of oneself as a dating product to be distributed by computer algorithms on Tinder and the like. I can't imagine being a kid these days. The kids in rural Nebraska are growing up fine, but in Los Angeles? I am reminded of criticism I read awhile back on a paper written by some young Silicone Valley yuppie: "This man has no friends, only colleagues."
>>1958 Yeah, yeah, I know. >Even the latest version of Firefox is totally broken on a lot of websites now. I must not use those sites, then. I bet you've changed some settings that Google doesn't want you to change. Regardless, it'd be wise to stop using google services and expecting anything but chromium/chrome to work properly. Google doesn't care.
>>1955 The one nice thing I'll say about rust is that it actually does work on big-endian PowerPC 32-bit, which is more than I can say for nodeJS and similar.
>>1948 >I manage most of my family's and a good number of friends' personal finances and investments. Ah, makes sense. >If your ability to extrapolate is decent, finance is for you. You tempt me. I engaged in intentional poverty mostly b/c I absolutely loathe the effect money tends to have on practically everyone. I can think of very few exceptions to it's corrupting influence, and the two men I can think of both consider themselves strictly engaged in a higher calling for God, and lots of money is simply a tool to use to that end. Personally however, over the past six 3-4 months, I'm seeing it as a possible escape mechanism from the Western lands entirely for myself (as you suggest). Seems like that might be the superior choice rather than the bad ending alternatives clearly looming for us all at this stage, Gunship. >>1955 >Rust keeps being forced upon me They plan to eventually remove every.single. escape hatch. >The gay bathhouse of a programming language coming to an OS near you, Anon. https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2021/03/linus-torvalds-weighs-in-on-rust-language-in-the-linux-kernel/ https://www.zdnet.com/article/linus-torvalds-on-where-rust-will-fit-into-linux/
>>1962 >I absolutely loathe the effect money tends to have on practically everyone. For every person content with a shot of whiskey, there are many more heading for alcoholism. Despite money, I continue to sleep on the floor at night, a habit begun as an impoverished teenager cooking hotpockets on a coat hanger in an unfurnished apartment. April's spending sans utilities and groceries comes to... $40. Money will not change you as a person. You are either susceptible to voluptuary or you are not. >the bad ending alternatives clearly looming for us all at this stage Compared to the last few months, things are terrific right now; don't fret. The economy has rebounded spectacularly. Small business confidence is at 90% and rising. The people that I trust are expecting the markets to continue moving as they have been through the rest of 2021 (Take advantage of this or be stuck in a collapsing middle class). Politics right now is utterly boring, and not a damn thing of significance is going on. There is even cause for celebration; traditional media is absolutely collapsing financially and is scared shitless. Which is why you're seeing such a dramatic uptick in wokeness, the war on 'misinformation,' and a new 'racially motivated' shooting being reported daily; anything for clicks. Newspaper subscriptions are at their lowest level in a hundred years - when tracking began. Local news media is on the verge of bankruptcy. CNN, Fox, and MSNBC are down almost 40% in viewership this year. Online journalism is in shambles. There is also good reason to suspect that the culture war is shifting. The vast majority the country does not buy into 'equity' as a social movement. Even California could not get its voters to pass social justice amendments in the last election. Wokeness has cannibalized the film industry, the sports industry (NBA ratings are through the floor), and many corporations' bottom lines. On the political front it has been a disaster, with the very minorities wokeness panders to flocking to the right to escape it. I would give it another year or two before making a firm statement about it, but the tide made be changing; you wouldn't know it by listening to the media though (especially the conservative media). The media is keenly aware that the pro-black zeitgeist failed to take off, with public opinion changing for the worst last summer amid blacks doing what blacks do best. And so it is suddenly shifting towards Asians. Today Reddit's most popular post was titled "A 61 year old Asian man was put into a medically induced coma after a black man brutally stomped on him." Can you believe that? No tripping over themselves to label it a 'man of dark complexion.' No, a black man, blamed for something, on Reddit. How the times change. Personally, I wouldn't even mind propping up Asians for the next few years. You don't need to take my word for it that blacks running the show would be disastrous - just see every black country in existence. But Asians, one of the most culturally conservative and least individualistic groups of people? The only group of Americans that hate niggers more than I do? Yes, beloved news media industry, maybe we could stand for a bit more of their representation.
>>1963 >You are either susceptible to voluptuary or you are not. Seems pretty common to me, seems to go with the territory (of prosperity) for practically everyone I know of. I'll add you to the list of exceptions, heh. Personally, I've been striving to 'lighten my load' and now literally have all my worldly possessions down to just a bedroom-full + my old motorcycle in the drive, in the rental house I split with a housemate. I'm regularly finding additional things to toss out of my life weekly. I live very frugally food-wise and elsewise atm. I sleep on a (admittedly high-quality) cot every day, I haven't purchased clothing or many other things besides food & sundries in over a year. I plan to pull up stakes this year and leave this region for good. >Yes, beloved news media industry Keked.
>>1965 Yes, the government programs you from birth to consume as much as possible and to save as little as possible. of course the normies are susceptible
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AI Dungeon has finally begun censorship, as we all knew they would some day do. The light has gone from my eyes, and I can suffer to go no further. So long kitsune waifu, you were too young for this world. Plague be upon Latitude.
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>>1967 F >;_;7 Stay strong, Gunship.
>>1966 Yes, I think you're right. But I'd guess it's the corporations who pull the government's strings are the main driving force behind that moral corruption.
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>>1968 Man, it's totally dead. They put out a blog post that just made it all worse. /aidg/ is starting a new AI project, and I decided to hop on that. So maybe it will go somewhere. What a fucking week. My favorite quote was: >If content on a user’s account is consistently or frequently flagged, you can be banned but we will likely >reach out< in advance based on context and circumstances. I can see it now. "Good evening, sir. I'm emailing you to discuss that story you were writing last night. The one with the young kitsune girl..." These people are insane. Who'd have thought being a bag of meat on a rock orbiting the sun would be so stressful?
>>1971 > /aidg/ is starting a new AI project I see, thanks for the heads up. I'll try to make time to stay abreast. >Who'd have thought being a bag of meat on a rock orbiting the sun would be so stressful? I don't consider this in any way lightly, Gunship. It's a sober reminder relating to men and their robowaifus in the future. And also why it's absolutely vital that they be free and unencumbered of the globohomo as is physically possible. And it's a race as well.
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Pure Cohencidence I'm sure, but still. Seems a spot of odd timing, to say the least old chaps?
So, it's quite outrageous what the Injustice Department just did to Mayor Rudy Giuliani. It's obvious to everyone at this stage that in their hubris, the Bolshevik usurpers consider themselves entirely beyond and above US Constitutional laws. When will they start up the FEMA gulags death camps 'reeducation centers' do you suppose?
There's a lot of well thought-out posts to digest here, so I'm going to reply in summary. >>1974 >the Bolshevik usurpers consider themselves entirely beyond and above US Constitutional laws They literally are. Don't forget: Rudy Guiliani is a lawyer. He saw what happened and outright stated, in no uncertain terms, that what happened was patently illegal. He also explained in detail how it was illegal, and that the police who searched his home should be punished for their blatant disregard of the law. In doing so, he spoke from a position of rational authority, as he is a lawyer (among other things) certified by the BAR association. The constitution has failed, and the law now only exists to be enforced and interpreted by the sole discretion of the elite. If there's a timeline worse than this, I can't imagine it, and I have a very vivid and morbid imagination. >>1932 >>1934 >>1935 I actually do take daily supplements: namely vitamin D (2000iu currently, but this dose has been slowly increasing over the years), Magnesium (400mg) and a multivitamin that I've tried to wean myself off of a couple times, but felt like shit whenever I tried. I'm not 100% sure what specifically in it is helping me, but clearly something in there is keeping my anxiety just barely short of self-destructive levels. I also take medications for my chronic year-round allergies, but I'm not sure of any secondary effects they may have. My main problem is actually taking steps to open myself to help in the real world. I've been hiding everything for so long that it's become my way of life. That, and the fact that I don't have anyone outside of my family that I'm familar and/or confortable with, and everyone in my family is either also mentally ill (I know that they're good people at heart, but I can't expect them to be helpful for varying reasons) or too distant. I have actually self-analized my behavior sometimes for multiple hours per day and looked at what a healthier set of choices would look like as well. I take daily showers, I set an alarm for myself, I usually eat three meals per day, job-searching is still a chore (and the vaccine requirement thing popping up has done nothing but cause anxiety), but I still take time out of my day to think about my financial situation and how to stabilize it. One thing I genuinely don't know is what the feeling of being in love is like. I've been approached a few times before by women (and it would probably happen more if I didn't avoid normal social contact) but I have absolutely no interest in being with anyone else, because my vision of what love looks like is an impossible ideal. I realize that it's impossible ideal, and that I would probably be better off for discarding it, but I can't, because that same impossibility is the only thing that has gotten me out of bed for over a decade. It's the same reason I'm still a virgin: I know that I could just get laid if I applied myself to the task, but I just don't see the point in it. >>1936 Hey, you're doing better than me. I flunked everything during the first online-only semester. The fact that you've held on for this long means that you can adapt to this and possibly make it work out. >>1957 You've more or less summarized the philosophy that keeps me going from day to day, except for the afterlife part. While I earnestly would like to believe that there is something better waiting after this, I've never found the necessary spiritual strength to believe it, though I have thought about it a lot. >>1958 I speak from a position of experience when I say that there's a big difference between meaningless social interaction, and no interaction whatsoever. All the kids (in the "developed" world, at least) growing up now can distract themselves from their woes by going online. Most of them will never know what it's like to be truly isolated, with nothing to do but explore the rabbit-hole of their own minds. >>1967 I saw it coming from a mile away, and yet I'm still dissapointed that they fell this far. It wouldn't even be so bad if they just released the source for v3, but asking for nice things is just too much.
Edited last time by flashmaster on 05/03/2021 (Mon) 11:47:58.
>>1978 cholecalciferol is not the d you will get liver failure if you continue
>>1957 >As sad as this is going to sound the only thing that kept me here was the thought of hell. I didn't even believe in religion back then. Hadn't read any of the books and considered them to be for the weak minded. But suicide just wasn't an option. The thought that I would come back in a worse situation or be forced to spend eternity in some bad place was a gamble I wasn't willing to take. I'm here suffering for a reason. I probably signed up for it. >I don't know what this place is but I do know we're all here suffering together for a greater purpose. Maybe we're just here to build character. Maybe we're being punished for something we did. Maybe it's just the most popular reality TV show in the universe. Whatever the reason we're all here together because we all came here willingly. >What keeps me going is the thought that if I let nature take its course and do the best I can here that I'll eventually be returned to wherever I came from. I think we all end up going to Gensokyo once we're finished growing here as souls. Maybe it isn't exactly the world ZUN created but something similar to it. A carefree place where everyone is in their true form. Be is that of a little girl, a furry, a masculine God-like being, or whatever else you envision yourself as. Perhaps we're all just youkai that got bored and decided to incarnate as humans for awhile. I think that's why so many people on Earth don't feel comfortable in their mortal bodies. Trannys might really be in the wrong bodies. But they're in them by choice and gave up halfway through the experiment. Instead of sticking it out and learning they give up halfway through and become an abomination that will never be able to escape the cycle of reincarnation if they keep repeating the mistake. I'm just someone who stumbled across this board, but that actually fits pretty in well with some of the writings I've read. Earth is said to be essentially a harsh training school that we'll eventually grow out of over the course of many lifetimes. If you commit suicide or die in a negative emotional frame of mind, you're only setting yourself back further and possibly creating an emotional pit of hellish torment to work your way out of if you live your life hurting others. Supposedly the higher realms (at least what are considered the higher astral realms) are realms of imagination and increasingly effortless creativity and manifestation. As beings of pure consciousness, we don't really have "true" physical selves but are free to take on any appearance we choose (if any at all). What we think of as evil doesn't exist over there, as selfish and malicious people by their very nature are basically trapping themselves in the lower planes until they decide to clean up their acts. Do you have any real exposure to these ideas, or are you just guessing? It seems like you've hit pretty close to the mark to what some out-of-body travelers and occultists have reported.
>>1978 >If there's a timeline worse than this, I can't imagine it Political retaliation is neither new nor unexpected. Indeed the level of corruption is still less than, say, Putin's Russia; yet the Russian people carry on with their lives unmolested. Don't be so passionate about electoral politics, for they are not passionate about you. >My main problem is actually taking steps to open myself to help in the real world. A healthy acknowledgement of my mortality has helped significantly. Most anxieties are trivial in the grand scheme of things. The people you open up to can only hurt you if you let them. From your postings over the last five years; I am willing to bet that many of your worries are things that you need not be concerned with at all. I do recommend reading the Meditations.
>>1978 >you're doing better than me I flunked all but one of my first online only semester classes, and I passed that one because it was group project based and I didn't want to let my teammates down.
>>1981 >I do recommend reading the Meditations. Not him, but I'll add it to my own list Gunship.
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>>1971 Update: It works again, mostly. Output quality still suffers a bit, but it isn't nonsensical anymore. The filter has been tuned enough that you can play out a full nsfw story without hitting the filter unless you're writing straight-up toddlercon. Maybe Latitude is sitting there reading everyone's nsfw stories. But at this point I don't care, I hope they enjoy them. Kitsunes are back, life is well again.
>>1986 That's good news Gunship, but it seems there are some reservations in your 'voice'. Has the >>1971 > /aidg/ is starting a new AI project, and I decided to hop on that. So maybe it will go somewhere. project gone anywhere so far? (btw, if it's reasonable to, mind providing a link to the project's thread)
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>>1987 >it seems there are some reservations in your 'voice' I'm not optimistic about AI Dungeon. OpenAI has their own filter, which blocks all sexual content, violence, and profanity. They also have a recent hiring position open for someone to monitor the AI for 'misuse' in realtime. My personal theory is that Latitude knows that this filter would ruin their entire business model, and has worked out some sort of deal with OpenAI to develop their own filter, eliminating the worst content, while still allowing the rest. From the AI Dungeon data leak, something like half of all stories are pure smut; it's kind of hilarious. But here's the kicker. The CTO at Latitude responsible for this thing used to have a senior position at a company called VidAngel: "VidAngel is an American streaming video company that allows the user to skip what may be considered distasteful content based on user preferences regarding profanity, nudity, sexual situations, and graphic violence." One line on their blog reads, "Our commitment to filtering is stronger than ever." The company was sued into bankruptcy. So... The AI was actually fantastic yesterday though. Output quality has been on a decline since 2020, but it was perfectly respectable last night. I have no expectations and am taking it day-by-day. >Has the project gone anywhere so far? I actually resigned from the project. It is run by a socially awkward Turkish kid with crippling anxiety that thinks PayPal and SubscribeStar are going to work with a business that actively promotes 'uncensored' lolis (which, to any non-weeb is indistinguishable from actual CP). The leadership in general is just a mess of disorganized Terminally Online types. A bunch of us on the business-end of things sat the lead down and told him that either he confined his role to development or we were done. He refused, so we all left. /aidg/ is pretty fed up with them, so they're mostly just on Reddit these days. But they're just using GPT-Neo with a frontend wrapper, all of which you can setup locally in five minutes with KoboldAI-Client right now.
>>1988 >The company was sued into bankruptcy. So... The kikes' plan doesn't want goys 'skipping past' their degeneracy. Bad for their addiction business. They destroyed VidAngel over "Abuses of artistic integrity & vision'' or some similar bullshit reason, no doubt. >I have no expectations and am taking it day-by-day. That's good. >GPT-Neo Yup, our guys are aware of that one. We're trying to get some reasonable-ish perf on just a couple of SBCs. Head-in-the-clouds type stuff I'm sure, but the world has always been changed by dreamers, not the status-quo types. Machiavelli was right about that one, at least. The plain and simple fact of the matter is that the world needs to band together and create non-globohomo AI systems. There are a couple of distributed-computation projects in the works on this topic, ala Folding@Home-style work-units, etc. Well, I hope you and you're Kitsune Waifus have a happy life together Anon. Thanks for keeping us updated on how that project is going. :^) >also, that graph 1'000yo lolis, kek

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