I have completed my Alpine Linux setup script (aside from some quality of life things). Not only does it handle the installation of all my packages from cache and their configs, but I even managed to automate my Firefox setup with a policies.json (install addons, user.js, etc). The script checks which computer it's being run on, so it can tailor certain configs to each one (eg; HiDPI on the XPS).
All in all, Alpine is a fantastic distro. My only criticism is that it uses musl instead of glibc, which while excellent from a security standpoint, means that there are some things that will never be available through the package manager. I will look into porting Dwarf Fortress and CCDDA, but proprietary things are totally out (not really important). Also the documentation isn't great. It would be nice if this kind of setup could be achieved through Void or similar, but even if another distro offered a diskless setup, it would likely use far too much ram to be usable.