Objectively, I have a good life. But really, I am depressed. In fact, I think I've been depressed my entire life. Still, I'll reflect on the good things in my life:
1. I have a gf that I truly love. We were made for each other, and she is heads over heels in love with me. We have complete trust in each other and are in-sync in terms of our visions and goals. The only con is that it's a long-distance relationship; she lives in Mexico. She has a claim to US citizenship, but it's complicated because her dad died a few years back; I'll have to get an attorney invovled. Worst case scenario is just to get married; I'm not opposed to getting married to her--if I was going to ever marry somebody, it wood be her--but I'm against the institution of marriage itself. Also, small negatives: her tits and butt are berry small. This isn't a huge deal, but it kind of sucks that I'll probably never get to "experience" a nice ass or a nice set of tits in my life as my gf is the only girl I've slept with. But again, not a big deal; it's better to have someone to love than some big-titted bimbo.
2. I'm relatively well off. I come from an upper-middle class family, so I was able to go to college without incurring debt. I got a degree in aerospace engineering with high honors. My parents helped me out with finances before I got a job, and I saved and invested most of what I got. My job pays decently (75k/yr) and I have about ~100k in net worth right now.
3. Over the pandemic, I've taken up a lot of hobbies and interests and integrated them into my daily life. I regularly practice guitar, read books, go to Muay Thai class, write on my blog, and learn Spanish. I've been really consistent and I've seen a lot of progress in my skills.
Now on to the bad:
1. I hate my job. It's not a bad job per se; I have a good salary, good boss, remote work, federal benefits, and a good work/life balance. However, the work is completely soulless and I hate being stuck in front of a computer screen from 9–5 eberry single day doing extremely boring yet mentally intensive beuaracratic work. I thinking of doing pilot training so I can fly for UPS or FedEx; I doubt the grass will be "greener", but at least I'll be developing actual skills and working with my hands. Plus, I always loved aviation; it's why I studied aerospace engineering, afterall. I have a friend who is in a similar situation as me who has a similar plan, but he is planning on joining the military to become an officer. However, the military isn't for me so I'm going to go the civil route.
2. My parents are getting divorced. My dad has fallen off the deep end of alcholism and is slowly losing his sanity with each year. Moreover, he admitted to me that he has a mistress on the side in Mexico City and doesn't love my mother anymore. Really makes me wonder how many of those "business trips" he took when I was a kid were really just to cheat on mom. On the other hand, my mom demanded that my dad buy her a house and set her up with all the material comforts, so there goes my inheritance. Also, I love my mom, but I can't stand how she's addicted to consuming, shopping, and watching TV. Honestly I don't care, those two fought with each other my entire life and it's about time they split. Really, my parents are the main reason why I never want to get married unless it's absolutely necessary.
3. I'm still struggling with internet addiction. I've made progress, but it's hard. Hell, I'm spending a good chunk of time on a Saturday writing this post. I've gone nuclear and put blocks on all of my electronic devices, but I always find new websites or workarounds so I'm not sure how I'm going to kill this addiction without going full luddite. Indeed, one (small) reason that I want to become a pilot is so that I'll literally be unable to look at a stoopy screen to browse stoopy caca during work time.
So those are the major gists of my life. Honestly, the greatest thorn in my side is the job stuff; the rest of my life is fine. I'm taking my discoberry flight to see if flying planes is something I want to do; I'm hoping it is and that it'll rejuvenate my life. I don't expect happiness from a job, but this 9–5 office drone caca is not it.