I wish I could help anon, it seems quite confusing and scary to me that one could fail to mate in our world. Although I believe the same happens to women too. Hell, look at Japan. It seems sad as well, since you are being denied your ability to procreate due to the circumstances of our modern world. It is my stated policy that if I ever end up in the same situation you do (no offense, and certainly no fault of your own) I wood try monasticism. Perhaps that can give you some closure.