I can relate to your pain anon. I often lose a precious girl younger. It takes me years to finally starting to deal with the pain after harsh years of depression.
Today I still think about her but without the pain (at least just the little stingy feel of heart broke remains). I hope she's doing well.
>how to cope
Man, I can't really be helpfull with this as I myself couldn't cope with the deep sadness I was in. Take your time, try to not focus on the pain and keep moving on. KEEP MOVING ON !!!
And be prepared untill you come around your 30's love sadness will be really hurting. That's what the life teach me about.
Hurting / killing animals is definitively NOT
comfy anon. This poor horse have nothing to do with your story so please leave it alone.