You're just trying to rationalize your loserness, or in the worst case literal faggotry.
>focus on my self
>taking care of my mother
Based but you can do both that and have a romantic life, bruh
>Focus on my goal of buying a good house
Ok mr. materialist, a good house is better than a good wife
>Maybe this is what God wants me to do for the rest of my life
>I think and feel that God doesn't want me to be with anyone.
Wow, (You) are human #9872354 who wants to do something retarded because of "God asked me to!!!!!!!" delusions. No, God doesn't want you to be gay and your lack of motivation is not proof that He does.
TLDR: Nigga. Don't give up.