My friend disappeared about half a year ago after announcing that he got a gf. He didn't respond to any of our messages and most of us were kind of annoyed, since it seemed like he simply got a gf and dumped the rest of us. However today out of nowhere he resurfaced, saying he's had a spiritual revelation, that this woman has actually helped his faith more than ever before, and they are planning on getting married (although not engaged yet). He also stated that they have avoided as much physical contact as possible (they haven't even kissed, says they're saving it for their wedding) and, what struck me the most, he deleted his Steam account (it was a huge one, very high-level, lots of games and big money items, essentially his equivalent of "camel through the eye of a needle"). I can tell from the way he's talking that he's serious about all of this and has undergone a profound rebirth, and as a result it's making me look at myself objectively and confront questions/answers that I normally wouldn't bother myself with. His piousness is only reminding me of things I hate about myself, chief of that being the endless struggle against lust/porn.
Which is why I have finally trashed the dead weight that was my onahole/lube/other objects of lust. It is in the dumpster and I am not going to pull it out. I bought it years ago when I was still deep in my depravity, and although I hadn't used it in a long time, it was still in the back of my closet as dead weight. I am currently on nine months of nofap, and have started marking off the calendar days I have not watched porn. I have been virtually attending church and confessing my sins and asking for God's strength in resisting temptation. Yet after doing all of this, there has been no catharsis as I expected. Of course I did not immediately expect God to hand me a gf for finally getting rid of my lust, nor have I been actively seeking out a Godly woman. But I feel as if there is yet another part of me that is missing, something else I must do to reclaim God's love and favor. All I can think of is confessing my shortcomings to my friends, which quite frankly terrifies me, which only validates my belief that it is what must be done.
Does anyone else have any input? Any idea on what comes next?